1. Education. List the region of the country you were born in, what universities you attended and at least one other you would have attended if your alma mater didn’t exist.
Born in the South (that's "Southeastern United States" for all my international readers--pay attention Tibor), but the Southern drawl doesn't show up unless A. I want to convince some Yankee jerkoff I'm slow-witted, B. I've been drinking a lot of whiskey, or C. I want to play up the accent because I'm in a region where a Southern accent is considered sexy by women.
BA in Professional Bullshittery...er, English, from the University of Georgia. While I have not attented any other Universities, odds are somewhat against UGA being the school I'll get an MFA from (what with them not offering an MFA in creative writing and all), so check back in a few years and look for this to change.
I came very, very, very close to going to the University of Colorado-Boulder out of HS. During the whole scouting things out UC seemed to beat UGA in the hotties department (later proved to not be true) and UGA actually seemed to have more annoying hippies than I thought during my offical visit (why? I picked the "Panic in the Streets" weekend to come visit). But in the end I did what any kid with no real idea what he wanted to focus on in college but played guitar and wanted a band would do: went to UGA, formed a band and occasionally showed up for my freshmen classes.
2. Sports Affiliations. List your top 10 favorite teams in all of sports in decending order. For instance, your alma mater’s football team may be number 1, but perhaps there is a professional team that squeezes in before you get to your alma mater’s lacrosse team.1. UGA Football
2. The Boston Red Sox
3. UGA Basketball
4. Atlanta Falcons
5. UGA Baseball
6. Atlanta Braves
7. UGA Gymnastics
8. USA Soccer
9. Tie-teams playing UT, UF, GT or Auburn that are any of the aforementioned four teams.
10. The New York Jets (not really, but some days you have to placate the band's lead singer).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95O-lwAMHRc
3. Movies. List the movie you’ve watched the most, your favorite sports related movie, the movie you secretly love but don’t like to admit it (possibly a chick flick or b film), and the movie you were (or still are) most looking forward to from this summer’s season.
Most watched: Dazed and Confused. Haven't seen it? It'd be a whole lot cooler if you did.
Fave sports movie: Can Caddyshack count? I don't really want to say Varsity Blues, but that did breifly pop into my head (and hey it does have some stuff going for it, entertainment-wise: Ali Larter in whipped cream, the oft-parodied "I don't want your life" line, the possibly highly unlikely brilliant tactical coaching of Paul Walker, Miss Davis's night job and of course, Skeeter.)
Shame flick: Love Actually. Chick flick directors take note: guys will enjoy your fare a lot better if you throw in Shannon Elizabeth and Elisha Cuthbert (plus two other hotties) as nymphomaniacal midwestern gals.
4. Music. List your favorite band from middle school, high school, college and today. Also, as with the movies, include the song you secretly love but don’t like to admit. If Nickleback is involved in any of these responses, please give a detailed explanation as to why, god, why.
Middle school: Guns N' Roses. Use Your Illusion I and II just had more swearing than Metallica, plus they had videos featuring Stephanie Seymour.
High school: An odd three-way tie between Dream Theater, 311 and anything and everything Wu-Tang Clan related (ie both group albums, plus the myriad of killer solo stuff.)
College: Mr. Bungle.
Shamelove song: "It wasn't me" - Shaggy. I still have not fucking clue one what the hell he's saying during the verses, but I think at some point he mentions Sinatra.
5. Books. Favorite book you’ve finished, worst book you’ve finished and the book you really should read but haven’t gotten around to it.
Favorite: Infinite Jest - David Foster Wallace. The literary equivalent of Pedro Martinez's 2000 season, or Barry Sander's Heisman year at OSU. Yes. That damn good.
Worst: I Am Charlotte Simmons - Tom Wolfe. Worse than the 2006 Pittsburgh Pirates. Oh no, kids go to college and *gasp* have sex and *gasp again* drink alcohol or maybe worse! Someone should have told him that Bret Ellis had kids talking ennui, drugs (a lot more drugs than Wolfe's kids mess with), and sex out of boredom a good decade and a half prior. Only redeeming factor is the unintended comedy of Wolfe's attempt at rap lyrics (it almost makes the guy in Linkin Park look like Rakim).
Book we should read but haven’t: Gravity's Rainbow - Thomas Pynchon.
6. Travel. Favorite city you’ve ever been to and the one place you still must visit before you shuffle off this mortal coil.
Fave city: Manhattan.
City we need to go to: Sydney. It's something like 58% female, and 60+% of the population is between 20 and 45. I picture a city full of Naomi Watts and Natalie Imbrugilas running about, waiting to gush over my sexy foreign accent.
7. What do you love most about college football in 20 words or less?
It doesn't encourage lukewarm fandom. You have to go nuts for it.
See?
1 comment:
Fuck. I'm 10 pages into I am Charlotte Simmons because I got it for Christmas.
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