Monday, October 09, 2006

Whoa...We're Halfway There (Pt. 1)

Deep cleansing breaths everyone…we’re now at the halfway point in the college regular season (I know for the Championship game- and bowl bound- it’s still a game or two away from halfway, but in the spirit of egalitarianism, and to be nice to the Mississippi schools that won’t get near a bowl unless they’re eating from it or upchucking sputum into it, let’s just call this the halfway point and round up what we’ve learned so far.)

The race for who gets to be the first college teams to be jinxed by Joe Buck and dwarfed by annoying graphics and sound effects is down to a handful of contenders.

Starting at the top, all is smiles and happiness in Sweater-vest land. Ohio State is #1 and really hasn’t given anyone reason to doubt the ranking. They spanked Iowa on the road, and put a sizeable boot print in Bevo’s ass too. And with Maurice Clarett behind bars, OSU fans can walk the streets unafraid.

Florida, for the first time since the mid-80s, is in the hunt without the Ol’ Ball Coach on the sidelines (well, other than that one game against Kentucky, but that doesn’t count.) I’ll get to them later on (it’ll be 80s-tastic).

Michigan, because they don’t play OSU until the end of the season and no one else in the Big10 (sic) looks any good, is in the hunt if only as a result of the ESPN Transitive Hype Property (beat a team overly-hyped by ESPN and become a team overly hyped by ESPN…Notre Dame in this instance.)

Throw West Virginia into the mix, if only because the only challenging game on their schedule is a Louisville team that seems to be losing a star player on offense weekly. By the time they actually play, Louisville could be throwing their entire second-string offense out there.

And, because I think I’m legally obligated to, USC is still in the race (I’ll blame the Song Girls for this one.)

Check back this evening for conference analysis, and SEC teams as 80s hair bands…

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