Monday, January 30, 2006

Peter Gammons...Hall of Fame Journalist...Poet?

Sports parodies can also be great poetry.

One from earlier today:

savannah blues

everyone this side of
Savannah knows
the Rangers want
Rocco Baldelli

but because
the Devil Rays are not yet willing to concede
that their season is
roasted

Jon Daniels has been
also shopping for another bat

like
Hee-Seop Choi

Geronimo Gil

(whose
maturation

would be a good fit in
Texas)

or
Jorge Piedra

And another:

forkball

Tim Purpura says
Mark McLemore

believes he is healthy after his
strained small intestine

and his
forkball is the best it's been
in years

and hopes
Fernando Nieve

can take the fourth spot

leaving the fifth hole to
Dan Wheeler

who may benefit from
Houston's excellent
barbers

It’s almost like Gammo studied Dub-C Williams…

Poems aside, sometimes the prose “reporting” this odd text-generator site comes up with can be intresting reading. It’s like an Oulipo machine. But not.

One example before I return to Infinite Jest*1:

· Initial looks have the Angels very pleased with Erick Aybar, who with his training regimen has made his forearm bigger and stronger, and can solidify the lineup if he can stop discussing his bat, and pitcher Scott Dunn, whose work with an insurance agent this offseason has given him a bit of a dogmatic presence.

· When Kip Wells was attacked by a carrot in one of the busiest movie theaters in Pittsburgh, it convinced Dave Littlefield that his player was cursed, and put him on the trading block. The Diamondbacks are interested, if the Pirates will pick up some of his salary.

· Mike Adams, bruised lung, who used to, throw a watersmooth-silver fastball, and break onetwothreefourfive batsjustlikethat, heavens. He was a jittery man, and what i want to know is, how do you like your hero now, Milwaukee.

· The Indians are continuing to try to work out some sort of deal with Mariners for Oswaldo Navarro, but talking to Bill Bavasi can be like talking to a snail at times, so they are now talking to the Yankees about a Shawn Chacon - Scott Sauerbeck deal.

*w/r/t Infinite Jest sometimes I feel the need to put in a footnote. Just because. Expect more posts on it and C. in the future, as I don’t want the project to go uncompleted Unfinished UNFILMABLE.

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