XL My Ass...

It wasn’t too exciting a Superbowl (if you want sports-specific stuff, go to the sports blog), but I had an XL-sized good time at the Superbowl party (sorry, last bad joke).

First off, Kudos to Bryan, B-Rad, Drew, and Alliene for hosting, and massive, Cajun-sized (think Dom Delouise) kudos to Chris for the kick-ass jambalaya. Second, thanks, kudos and other congratulatives to all who came out to the party. Pat y’alls selves on the back.

So now the recaps: Horatio Sanz has made it impossible to take Aaron Nevile seriously. Nothing can mess with the National Anthem like waiting for the phrase “cocoa butter” to show up.

As for the commercials, they were almost as big a let-down as much of the actual game. Yes, the retro-cool “hey, remember the 80s” factor was sky high when Richard Dean Anderson appeared in a McGuyver-based Mastercard ad. And there were some cool moments: the FedEx dinosaur ad, the Pirates of the Caribbean 2 trailer, the Overstock.com woman. But by and large this Superbowl crop of ads should be remembered for some mediocre, and in some case, downright bad ads.

Diet Pepsi’s new “Brown and Bubbly” catch-phrase/slogan attempt could be a sloganing blunder of New Coke proportions. People don’t think of soda when they hear the phrase, but it’s likely such appetizing images as warm mud and open septic fields fit the description. Oh, and then they gave Diet Coke free air time and implied that Diet Coke is tougher than Diet Pepsi. Or it’s merely the setup to their new campaign: Diet Pepsi—the Choice of a Wimpy, Fecalphiliac Generation.

Then there was Burger King’s big dance number. First it did set up an easy joke: “so, when I eat Burger King, I’m eating 8 women at once? Hell, not even Gene Simmons can do that!” But then we quickly realized that while a bad cunnilingus joke (no really, they do exist) was ok, the real problem was Burger King was really promoting cannibalism. This doesn’t help the King shake is image as a frightening, potential evil and soul-consuming Lovecraftian horror disguised as corporate spokesman. However, if they had a follow-up with Chuck Heston screaming, “don’t eat Burger King! It’s made out of people!” it would’ve been a better night.

But it didn’t happen. Superbowl Sunday instead was a night of teases. The game that didn’t have “star-studded” teams that was supposed to be close and great—but wasn’t. The ads that cost millions—that made you question what incriminating photos those on Madison Avenue have of Budweiser and Burger King execs. The Grey’s Anatomy that started off with a nice “3 ladies in a shower” scene but ended with a cliffhanger (which is decent strategy as far as “hooking” new viewers, but it has the flaw of the new views not knowing the characters or the histories involved, and therefore not caring as much at Crawford’s reaction to finding out Meredith is the one with her finger on the bazooka shell.) And finally there’s the extra special FU to the teasers at ABC weather who just had to keep talking about a chance of snow—only to leave us with cold, rainy, nasty weather all day today instead.

And then you had Joe Namath on the field and Suzy Kolber on the sideline and we didn’t even get to see them share a moment. What gyp.