Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Tailgating by Ned Flanders and General Football Musings...

Contrary to popular opinion, plus the unpopular-though-they-mistakenly-think-the-world-is-in-agreement-with-them opinion of sportstalk radio jocks and callers-in, Georgia did face a serious challenge this weekend from Western Kentucky. Only it wasn’t on the field, but on the sideline.

It's the WKU mascot, looking like the bastard offspring of a long night of drinking and wait-how-the-hell-did-they-pull-that-off coitus between Grimace and the Capital City Goofball. But it's family friendly, and we all know how Mike Adams likes families (hell, he spent thousands of University dollars towards a party for his kid).

My fear is that now that he has already attempted to reNeducate tailgaters in Athens with the Prohibition (family friendly) Zones on campus, like Hitler seeing how easy it would be to grab more of Europe, he'll go after UGA next. Why UGA? Well, myriad of pictures of "UGA Baptisms" aside, I'm sure he doesn't seem friendly in Herr Adams's eyes. After all, UGA’s dad did try and bite an Auburn WR, and that kind of genetic info gets passed on doesn't it? And worse, if you believe that info's true (and we have to believe ol' Mikey does for this to work) the bulldog breed was originally meant to attack bulls. That's not family friendly. What if he confuses a potential donor or Re-Neducation officer Mike Adams SS trooper alcohol-patrolling campus cop for a bull?

Many years back, a failed attempt at a UGA equivalent Harvard Lampoon or The Onion had a letter where they inquired if Mike had thought about restoring UGA's tradition of the goat mascot. Luckily, Adams said no. But come on, goats eat garbage, smell almost as bad as Tennessee fans, and, if that one episode of The Simpsons is to be believed, they can hiss at you. So there's his real reason. A goat wouldn’t be family friendly either.

But WKU's red thing, well, other than maybe making the older of us go "wait, was that thing on H.R. Puffinstuff?", seems to have no edge (literally, he's as rounded as…well I'll give you the option of picking your simile here: ) and no teeth, and, unless doused in gasoline and set on fire while running around full deep fryers and gas grills, poses no real physical threat.

So let’s just hope Adams doesn’t watch the rebroadcast and get any ideas. (Or, let’s just hope that the spectacular turnout in the Ned Flanders Zones dissuade him.)

All that aside, the game was a little disturbing too.

Doug makes a nice argument against anointing Mathew Stafford the next great UGA QB. But there are more holes than the Cal secondary. First, prior to his lousy performance vs. Clemson in 2002, David Greene did have a hell of a redshirt freshman year, including a dynamic performance in Knoxville that I think most folks remember. Meanwhile, prior to a lackluster and blah-inspiring performance vs. WKU, Joe Tereshinski…played unspectacular against Arkansas, Florida and looked average in the G Day game. And more importantly, Clemson 2002’s defense is probably a wee bit better than a Division 1-AA team’s defense. Yes, there were drops, but the telling thing to me was the complete lack of respect of any passing threat when JTIII came back out for the third quarter (a big factor in Thomas Brown’s anemic yards-per-carry average.)

The defense looked great however, so the question is: is this year’s UGA defense an SEC-equivalent of the Superbowl Baltimore Ravens D? If so, UGA can have a great defense with the equivalent of Trent Dilfer at QB. JTIII probably won’t turn the ball over (though if he underthrows a screen pass against UF, UT or Auburn is 6 the other way) and he’ll lead the offense to a grind-it-out 230 yds a game average and maybe an average of 20 points. Given the way UT, UF and Auburn look (hell, even Tech’s D), it may not be enough.

If Stafford can shine in Columbia, and the D is great, this could be a great season. Otherwise…well, they’ll still probably do better than the Red Sox…


Jamie said...

I found a grammatical error in the tailgating video. I'm such a nerd.

Jamie said...

Why North Campus??? WHY???