Thursday, February 08, 2007

My TV Girlfriends

It's Saturday afternoon, I should be cleaning and doing laundry, but instead, I'm going to shamelessly rip off an old blog post idea from Jamie...and, obviously, switch the gender around.

Taylor Townsend (The OC) - Why It'd Work: Taylor's probably an even bigger Lit Snob/nerd than I am. We could spend our Sundays alternating between doing the NY Times crossword together and hunting for grammar errors in Safire's On Writing column. We're both late bloomers (though technically I'm a later bloomer). Her affair with Dean Hess proved that an older guy isn't an issue (and the whole Henri-Michel thing proves a whole bunch of other things I'm not getting into here.) We both have unfortunate tendancies towards John-Hughes-RomComian Big Romantic Gestures.
Why It Wouldn't: Between the two of us we'd set a land-speed record for over-analysis after I went to stand outside her window with a boombox for our one month anniversy and she planned an elaborate stakeout at my apartment.

Dr. Elliot Reid (Scrubs) - Why It'd Work: We're both slowly but surely overcoming some long-standing insecurities. She's not just a really hot, smart doctor, she's also there for her friends. We both enjoy the works of William Shakespeare, and I'd clearly wow her with my karaoke skills.
Why It Wouldn't: Finding time to spend together would be difficult; and while I've said writing and/or music comes over any girl to myself and to friends, on two previous occassions a girl has wound up dominating my thoughts at the expense of one or the other. And when that's not returned, things fall apart.
Danni Sullivan (Scrubs) - Why It'd Work: Yeah she moves fast, but not without the right checkpoints (i.e. asking "are you as into this as I am?"). Fun, caring, and looks like Tara Reid before the hard partying and Taradise sent her career to a toilet on the hospital roof.
Why It Wouldn't: She apparently drinks and makes out with random guys at weddings. I doubt I could avoid other people's weddings forever, and that'd be that.
Summer Roberts (The OC) - Why It'd Work: She clearly has a thing for quirky, funny, slightly neurotic guys that enjoy books by Michael Chabon. She's driven and knows what she wants (well, mostly), and bucks the trend of California girls getting tiny, mostly hairless rats, calling them dogs and dressing them up in inane outfits. And calling the bunny "Pancakes" is irrisistably cute.
Why It Wouldn't: hit movie aside, I'm sorry, I'd make fun of Al Gore. And I like eating meat. Vegetarianism is one of my top 5 all-time potential-relationship enders.

Buffy Summers (if you can't figure out what show she's on...) - Why It'd Work: Remember when I was talking about expecting a girl to save me? She literally could. Demi-god-like powers wrapped in an incredibly pretty package; she's cunning, brave, caring and would be great on camping trips (because of the tents needing stakes...I know...I know).
Why It Wouldn't: I'd like to say I'd wind up attempting to be her better version of Riley...but let's be honest. Real-life vampires coming after me probably sends me the other way.

Anya (from Six Degrees) - Why It'd Work: She's passionate and gorgeous, and not commitment-shy, but also a great photographer. I'd prefer dating women with artisting leanings (music, writing, painting, etc.) versus those that don't.
Why It Wouldn't: I have no background in photography and she'd dump me to go after one of her inspirations. I guess...the show got cancelled/put on hiatus and her character's only sort of developed.
Bridget Keller (What About Brian) - Why It'd Work: Seriously? Dude, she looks like Krista Allen. The dimples, the cheekbones, the incredible she has no qualms going after someone once she decides they're worth going after. As a guy who doesn't always make the first move, that's awesome.
Why It Wouldn't: she's dated a father, then his son. That's a bit icky. She's also shown some drama queen-tendancies.

Dr. Izzie Stevens (Grey's Anatomy) - Why It'd Work: We're both hopeless romantics and, while I've never played fast and loose with the Hippocratic Oath (or dated anyone with a heart condition for that matter), we both know that sometimes what makes sense to your head isn't the best option. Plus (and someone who hasn't been busy watching The OC and Scrubs at 9 on Thursdays who's seen the show lately correct me if I'm wrong) she's got a really ginormous check, so the whole worries about money thing wouldn't be doom for the relationship.
Why It Wouldn't: The love of her life hasn't been dead a year. People getting out of horrible breakups usually hope for a rebound at best...death? Plus the whole conflicting schedule hours problems I'd have with Dr. Reid.
Meadow Soprano (The Sopranos) - Why It'd Work: She looks a lot like Marissa Tomei (who I think is the bee's knees), plus, while she's smart, driven and competitive, she hasn't actually killed anyone herself...and clearly she's not too devoutly Catholic.
Why It wouldn't:
Meeting dad could be worse than her brother's really, really annoying. It'd be even uglier if I asked if they had Johnny Cakes...

Sloan McQuewick (Entourage)-Why It'd Work:E's late season 2, most of season 3 girlfriend might be the type of girl that only exists in fiction: gorgeous, smart, from a ridiculously wealthy family, and OK with asking her hot best friend to join in a drunken, one-time-only threesome. She pulled strings with her dad to get E a big-time job offer, but supported him when he backed Vince (and less money) instead.
Why It Wouldn't: I've been in a situation where I thought someone was too amazing once before and damned if I didn't find a "flaw" and fuck that up. "Why are you with me?" isn't a good relationship question, and if that didn't happen, well...maybe I'd settle down with me perfect TV girlfriend and wake up one day with a tv wife...

1 comment:

Jamie said...

I had such a good time doing this post. Good job on picking them based on their characters as opposed to solely on their looks. :)