Thursday, September 20, 2007

A (Somewhat) New Top Five

In honor of National Singles and Unmarrieds Awareness week (or whatever they're calling it) I am going back to the well with a celebrity top five. This is still in more-or-less random order, just like the last revision.

Jessica Alba
How could she not be on the list? I caught part of her interview with The Morning X coming into work, and while I'm a bit worried that the simple fact that she was awake, cogent, and funny at 7:45am (which is, I hope more really late than really early if she was still out in LA) could be a sign that she's a dreaded Morning Person. I cannot date Morning People. Worse, Morning People tend to not want to sleep in on weekends. But the interesting thing that seems to be true (insomuch as any celebrity-personality is "true") is that she seems more like a kind of boring, dorky gal than anything. She's not in the tabloids for dancing on the bars and snorting lines of Bing* in the bathroom. She's never, ever dated or hooked up with Fez. These are good things. And amazingly, according to multiple interviews and her Wikipedia entry there's an interview where she admits to being self-concious about how she looks--which should convince us all that if Jessica Alba has harbored doubts about how gorgeous she is, all women have.

(Here we see Jessica contemplating whether or not she wants to share the last of her ice cream with me, while mulling over the "cone-is-optional" method of eating it I told her I'd prefer.)

Mandy Moore
Remember back when there was a debate about which young, Lolita-esque teen starlet would be a superstar, and the debate was mostly limited to XTina and Britney? And Mandy Moore barely mentioned? Goes to show what a journalistic consensus is worth doesn't it? (Though to be fair, they were right about Ms. Aguilera being more talented than Mrs. K-Fed.) About the worst things said about Mandy in the tabloids was a general "wait, you can do better than DJ AM" pieces. She was great on Entourage, and her two-episode guest-star run on Scrubs, and really great in Saved!. And she's put the acting on hold to write her own music and go out and tour in places like the Roxy as opposed to a giant, overwrought arena show. Perfect lazy date with Mandy Moore would likely consist of: lots of trading musical ideas over acoustic guitar, mixed with enough kissing to make any peeping tom onlookers question if we're still in high school.

(And if she happened to say "you know, I'd prefer an electric guitar," that'd be even better.)

Katherine McPhee
Ok, I don't really watch American Idol, so this is sort of an odd pick (Rock Star: Supernova's more my speed as 1. Butch Walker was on it 2. Tommy Lee is--sometimes unintentionally-hilarious 3. the songs are better. Though I did watch almost all of the Bon Jovi episode of Idol this past season.) But Katherine's clearly got some serious pipes (I mean vocally, why should I trot out an awkward euphemism when Tyra Banks has already done what myself and millions of others wouldn't mind doing?). Plus, she's a Red Sox fan. So provided I would never, ever have to hang out with Ryan Seacrest (who again, UGA does not claim as one of our own), it could be perfect.

(Here you can see Katherine laughing at my devilish wit right before we compare tan lines.)

Autumn Reeser
Alright, so I've got a lot less in the interview category here, and I may be projecting many of the qualities that I adore in Taylor Townsend, the character she portrayed on The OC, onto the actress, but damn if I don't think Autumn is not only underrated as far as "damn she's hot" comments go (it should be said far more often) but talent-wise too (perhaps the fact that the Emmy folks consider The OC more of a drama hurt, but she could have easily been nominated for a few episodes, particularly the "It's a Wonderful Life" spoof and the one featuring her French ex-husband.) And while the book I started for NaNoWriMo last year with her as a character is on the back burner while I attempt to finish By Any Other Name, I do intend to come back to it.

(Her dog's name is Gatsby. I'm about to make a bad lit joke about whether he likes scrambled, East or West. But she'll laugh anyway.)

Mary Louise Parker
I miss having Showtime. Weeds, as it turns out, is a kick-ass show. Imagine The OC, but on cable so there's more swearing, nudity and drugs...and Sandy Cohen's dead, so Kirsten starts selling pot. And she's played by a 43-year old actress that could pass for my age. And Ms. Parker, like myself is from Georgia. We could make quite the pair at Sanford Stadium I think. Plus, 99% of the girls I've dated have been younger than me, and well, here I am single, so maybe age does matter?

(Mary Louise may look calm here, but has threatened me with instant death if I defame her beauty by using the word "cougar.")

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