Thursday, October 18, 2007

I Want To See Dead Lawns. Acres and Acres of Dead Lawns


Oh no reason in particular...just massive drought, a potentially dry lake, etc.

And honestly, if the highlight of your life is going all Hank Hill on a bunch of grass that would never grow that way naturally, seek help. Just don't go to the golf course, because those need to wither and die too.

Call me selfish, but there's no way in hell I'm going to be single in a large city and not allowed to shower while some old, rich married guy gets to duck out on his wife, kids and possibly mistress to mow his lawn or grab a quick 18 all day at the Country Club.

And ranting aside, the impending transmogrification of Atlanta from home of Southern (and sometimes arrested) hip-hop to the Sahara of the Southeast is coinciding with some other things.

I'm not saying End Times are addition to the drought:

1. The number one single in the country is a rap song with a line dance. Like the electric slide, but with a drum machine and poorer elocution (seriously, is he saying "watch me row" or "roll"? Given that he doesn't pronounce the "-tch" part of "watch" it's anyone's guess. I think it's "roll" but I bet there are some crew teams that hope I'm wrong.)
2. The Cubs made the playoffs. Let's simply take a moment and breathe easier knowing they're no longer in the playoffs.
3. No team can stay in the Top Five in College Football for more than a few weeks, and usually it's some unranked team beating them.

I'm not saying anything, or drawing any explicit conclusions here, but were I Catholic, I'd consider a long talk in the booth soon, just in case too.


Jamie said...

Hee, I like the title. I'm pretty sure that the golf courses are going the way of crunchy deadness too, especially since they are implementing commercial and industrial restrictions.

And the official word is 5 minutes showers. We're not on every other day duty just yet. ;)

Will said...

How are they going to monitor this 5 minute shower thing?

If need be I shall do my civic duty and offer to "monitor" up to 5 ravingly attractive women to make sure they don't exceed their alloted time.